It's hard to believe that it was almost 3 months ago that I arrived back in the UK from Redding, the time has flown by and I am now back in the States for the next 9 months for 2nd year BSSM. Though the summer has gone very quickly it has been amazing and I feel so blessed to have spent it with wonderful people. Papa was faithful to his word and continued to teach me and heal me. I truly am blessed indeed!
Over the course of the summer I have driven over 4,500 miles in the UK visiting friends and family. It has been great fun to catch up and share a little of what I have learnt and how I have grown while at BSSM. As I have travelled up and down the country I have been reminded of how much I love England, the countryside is so beautiful, so green! The other thing I have been constantly reminded of is how blessed I am because of the wonderful friends and family I have. I am truly blessed to love and be loved by so many and this summer has reminded me not to take these precious relationships for granted.
We were created for relationship, firstly with God and then with each other and it is a privilege to walk this life, this adventure out with so many amazing people. A special thank you to all of you who were part of my summer, you truly helped make it spectacular, whether we had a quick chat or an extended stay you were a real blessing to me.
Papa continued the transformation in me over the summer too and my wardrobe has completely changed and no one is more surprised than me, though I know a few others were too! It started before I left Redding when I bought a couple of dresses and Papa said to me that he wanted me to wear a dress every Sunday to church while I was home for the summer. For this to make sense, I guess I should point out now that all my life I have lived in trousers, skirts and dresses have been something I have worn for special occasions or just the odd occasion! Over the past few years my wardrobe had been slowly changing but that just meant I had started wearing women's tops more than mens t-shirts!
So to the complete transformation Papa has taken me on this summer. As I said he told me to wear dresses to church and so I did but there was so much more to come! The first thing was that I saw a dress/tunic and liked it and so I bought it. Then a few days later I was with a friend in Warrington and saw Laura Ashleys had a sale on, now, until this particular day I had never felt the need to enter a Laura Ashley store but this day, not only did I go in but I bought two tunic type tops. Wow! Over the next couple of weeks I bought several more tunic tops, a couple of long skirts, some leggings and even a dress! This definitely was a new adventure for me. I even got to quite like shopping!
At the end of June I went on a wonderful holiday to Italy with a very dear friend. I went for 10 days and only took one pair of trousers, now that truly was miraculous! Amazingly (though not surprisingly to Papa) I have not worn trousers since, except for once, my wardrobe truly is transformed and I feel so comfortable in my new clothes, something I would never have expected.
As I was going through this process I asked Papa what was happening and he told me that finally my outside matches my inside! For many years he has been healing my femininity on the inside and at least it was time for my outside to reflect this. I am so grateful for his patience, blown away by his favour, and so loving the confidence he has given me in knowing that I am enough, I am his favourite daughter, I am a beautiful woman, I am me!
Lastly, I want to tell you about how Papa has made me whole in one area of my life and through that has brought family reconciliation after about 30 years. This to me is an enormous miracle, especially the wholeness he has brought into me. There is a member of my family who hurt me a lot when I was young and I have not had any relationship with this person in a long time and never wanted any, in fact I planned to kill them, well I thought about it a lot anyway. When I was saved God said I needed to forgive them, so I did because God would hold them accountable and I did not have to have any relationship with them. A few years later Papa asked me to release them from his judgement too, that is to fully forgive them and pray for their salvation. I did this but declared I would not do relationship with them!
Now, over this last year Papa has done some amazing things in me, many of which are written in this blog and as part of that process I began to declare that I would hug this person this summer. We had no relationship, they would not talk to me but would hang up the phone on me if I was ringing their wife and they lived separately from their wife. In other words, there was no earthly way I was going to get to hug them but I knew I wanted to hug them so they felt my love and forgiveness. I continued to stste my intention, both as a prophetic declaration and, in part I think, to convince myself that it would happen! After I got home for the summer though I realised that I did not just want to hug them but I wanted relationship too. Miraculous! Amazing transformation and wholeness in me!
In July I was off to see the wife of this person. I see her about once a month when I am home but her husband has never been there when I am. Imagine my surprise (I know I shouldn't of been but I was) when he was there! My first thought, after thanking Papa, was to wonder how I could but him without it being completely awkward. I need not have worried as he came to hug me, granted he was like a wooden puppet and very awkward, but I just got to hug him in return! Amazing! I drove home praising Jesus and asking how I could doubt him for any reconciliation or any provision. He is able to make the impossible possible and he loves doing it and blowing my mind in the process.
The next a step was that I realised that if I wanted relationship with him I would have to pursue it as it would not happen otherwise. So, I rang his wife (who I was taking away for a night in August) and asked if he would like to join us. He said yes! I was blown away again, not only had Papa done what I had asked but he had prepared me for the abundantly more!
The day arrived that I was taking them both away and I was so excited, excited to see what Papa would do and how the trip would go. I picked them up and we had good fun looking at some ruins, a cathedral and a museum. Thank you Jesus for a shared passion for history! After a lovely meal in the evening and a visit to Europe's smallest bar (just 8 metres square) we headed back to the hotel. The next day I drove them home after a good breakfast and it was wonderful. I truly did enjoy myself and loved spending time with them both. Miraculous, not only is Papa restoring a relationship but he is restoring it to be better than it ever was before!
This amazing summer has left me expectant and excited for this year at BSSM. Watch this space to see what unfolds.
I hope you have been blessed in reading and encouraged that God truly is the God of the impossible and works all things to good for those who love him. So remember, if it's not good then it's not over!
