Evangelist?

Well, I'm now finished my second week at BSSM and it continues to be amazing but I will tell you more of that in a moment. First I just need to say that God has shown me that my heart surgery last week grafted my heart into Jesus' heart, not on to it. Wow! How awesome is that, my heart truly beats as one with Jesus. Awesome!

So back to the first couple of weeks of school. The words I would use to describe them are (not in any particular order):

Blessed

Challenging

Tiring

Busy

Mind blowing

Worship filled

Fun

Community

Fellowship

Joyous

In the first week we were blessed with great teaching from Bill Johnson and Kris Valloten every day. It truly is a blessing to be able to sit under their teaching and all the other wonderful teachers we are going to have the privilege to hear this year. The scriptural truths about identity and purpose came thick and fast and often left us feeling overloaded. Thankfully, we will hear them all a lot more before we are done!

We also got to meet our Revival Group Pastors and the 3rd year interns that are supporting them. Revival groups are smaller groups (about 65 students in each) that make it much easier to build community and family. As you can imagine that would be quite hard with 1200 other students all at once! My group are lovely and we had a great party on Monday to begin to get to know each other. We went to a place called Whiskey Town Lake which was beautiful and I spent the afternoon (in the shade) laughing and getting to know a few of the ladies in our group. Next week we are not in school but going away for 3 days on retreat with our groups. Have very little idea what it will be like but am pretty certain it will be good fun and full of worship and good teaching.

So, for those of you who are interested, here are some of the nuggets that I have been touched by so far:

If all we do is feast we just get tired and lazy, we need to give what we get away (this is very pertinent to being here as it feels like an amazing feast).

Authority comes from identity but anointing comes from encounter.

You are not the temptations you resist but the virtues you embrace.

Testimony brings glory to God, if we don't minister to the sick we don't give God opportunity to heal so that we can have testimony to bring Him glory.

We become what we see in the watering hole of our imagination, that is, what we think the most important person in our own personal world thinks of us.

The church is the gateway between heaven and earth.

Both God and Satan want us in the wilderness sometimes they just have different intentions, the devil wants to defeat us but God has given us all we need to win.

If we want the peace that passes all understanding then we need to give up our right to understand and be obedient when we speaks not when we gain understanding.

Delayed obedience is disobedience.

These are just a few that stick out to me and we have only been in school 2 weeks! Truth is though that we will not have Bill and Kris every week as our full timetable kicks in as we will have Advanced Ministry Training (AMT) and City Service to do as well. I have signed up for AMTs (have to pick 3 but get one) that are all focused on going deeper with God, building your secret place and your intimacy with Him. This was key to me as I feel it is the sure foundation that everything else will be built upon. For City Service we had to select 5, my number one choice is outreach in San Francisco as I had this on my heart before I ever came but I have also selected outreach in Reno, bar ministry, women's drug rehab and homeless breakfast. Will tell you more about AMT and City Service when I know what options I have got. So excited though and in just know that I will get the ones Papa wants me to have.

Personally, the 4 weeks I have been here have been amazing but at the same time very hard. My last post spoke a little about this, I have had to deal with several lies that I thought were long ago dealt with and they were all around my identity. Thankfully, Papa knows His timing and I got a great word from my roommate Lizzie this week that reminded me that the enemy wanted to take me out because he was scared of my destiny because I am an overcomer! Wow! Immediately, my perspective began to change and my confidence grow. This was helped too by knowing I had an amazing group of ladies praying for me in the UK as my initial reaction to the word was, help! Papa finished the week by giving me a new gift, the gift of evangelism and declaring over me that I am an evangelist. Now I know many people have told me this over the years but I have never believed it. Now, however, I have received it and believe it. I am an evangelist, called to love the hell out of people and see them encounter God!

Looking forward to this week as we go on retreat as a revival group for 3 days and I am excited to see what God wants to do. There is lots of reading for school but I am reading (as an extra) Bob Johnson's Love Stains, he and his wife reach out to the world's trash in San Francisco to treat them as heaven's treasure. I thoroughly recommend it to you all. It is amazing and has only confirmed that I am an evangelist and that I want to reach out to the least and the lost in San Francisco.

Thanks for reading.

Wow! Blown away and amazed!

I have now been in Redding for just over 2 weeks and in truth it feels like home, or at least a home away from home. There have been challenges though, one of which is the heat. I am not complaining about the weather but it does take a little getting used to when it averages between 35 to 40 degrees and you are used to the much cooler climate of the UK. Thankfully, we are heading into autumn and the temperatures will start to fall.

This week has had other challenges too but I am so pleased that Papa is loving and faithful and cares about the little details in our lives. He wants us to know that we know that we know that we are his and that we are in the right place. This is most definitely my testimony over this past week as he has amazed me with his love for me!

During last week I was worshipping when I felt Holy Spirit say that I needed to refute the lie that I was a fraud and that I was not saved. This surprised me as I thought this lie had long been dealt with but having learnt to trust Holy Spirit I went ahead and did it. As I was declaring the truth afterwards I found myself laughing and saying to the enemy that I laughed at his attempt to derail me with his lie. I have never done this before and wondered why now? Then Holy Spirit reminded me that I have been declaring certain truths over myself daily for the last week, one of which was that I laugh at the lies of the enemy! Wow! After this I knew that I was in the right place for the right time but Papa was not finished with me yet! But more of that in a moment.

For those who want to know a little about what I'm getting up to, here's a quick summary. My roommates and I have spent time getting to know one another more and exploring the beautiful scenery that is all around us. We have been to Shasta Dam (the water in the reservoir is really low, please pray for rain), Mount Shasta (awesome, even without much snow), Burney Falls (truly spectacular) and we hiked Flannagan's Trail (sadly, I think, we did not see a mountain lion!). We have also had a couple of nights when new friends came round to visit and enjoy our veranda view. Still blown away by how awesome that view is! Then, on Friday we registered for school followed in the evening by a social for all BSSM over 40s. Exciting!

Back to Papa and his plans for me! Last night I went to our allocated weekend service, 6pm at Twin View and it was amazing. Over the last few days I have been talking to God about living for an audience of one (Him) all the time and during the worship at Twin View this continued. At some point someone prayed for me (I have no idea who or what they prayed) and God met with me powerfully as my Healer. He gave me heart surgery! That is, he grafted my heart to that of Jesus and then put them both in me. Wow! I am truly united with Jesus because our hearts beat together as one! My identity is eternally secure!

That, in itself would be enough to say it was an amazing night but God still was not finished with me yet! As it was the Sunday night before school started and the service is mostly students there was lots of ministry time. One of the calls was for people who had experienced some loss before coming to school. Wow! Instantly I knew God wanted me to go for prayer and the tears started coming. To begin with I had no idea why I was crying, was it just part of the grief, was I missing my hubby? Then it hit me as Holy Spirit brought revelation, I felt guilty for being in Redding because my husband was dead. I felt guilty because I was enjoying being here and was expectant and excited for school. I felt guilty because I should not be here and would not be here if he was alive. This was not what I had expected!

Thankfully, it was no surprise to Papa and he had set me up to deal with it. When I had arrived at church I had spoken to my Revival Group Pastor (my spiritual oversight here) to let her know that the day we go on retreat (later this month) would be my first birthday without my hubby and I did not know how I would be. As a result of this conversation she knew a little of my situation and came to pray with me. She stood with me as I refuted the lies that I am guilty and declared the truth that there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus and that I am here because God purposed for me to be here. Yes, my life would have looked very different and been very happy if my hubby were still here but he is not and it is okay for me to enjoy my life here and be expectant for what God wants to do. How amazing is that!

This journey that I have been on, that I am on, is a journey of discovering more of who God is. A journey of discovering more of who I am because of all that God is. A journey of discovering how who God is and who I am come together so that I can fulfil the purpose and destiny he created me for. It is not always easy but I am never on my own, I am never left to flounder because Holy Spirit is with me and as I learn to trust Him more He leads me into more revelation, more freedom and greater relationship and encounter. I do not fully know what this year holds for me but I am eager to find out and hold to the words He has spoken to me that it is bigger than I think. Wow! I have big vision but His is bigger!

I hope this has encouraged you on your journey. Today is my first day in school and as I head off I am full of joy and expectation to discover all he has for me today, just today. I pray as you read this you are full of joy and expectation for what he has for you to discover today too. Be blessed, I am!