I have now been in Redding for just over 2 weeks and in truth it feels like home, or at least a home away from home. There have been challenges though, one of which is the heat. I am not complaining about the weather but it does take a little getting used to when it averages between 35 to 40 degrees and you are used to the much cooler climate of the UK. Thankfully, we are heading into autumn and the temperatures will start to fall.
This week has had other challenges too but I am so pleased that Papa is loving and faithful and cares about the little details in our lives. He wants us to know that we know that we know that we are his and that we are in the right place. This is most definitely my testimony over this past week as he has amazed me with his love for me!
During last week I was worshipping when I felt Holy Spirit say that I needed to refute the lie that I was a fraud and that I was not saved. This surprised me as I thought this lie had long been dealt with but having learnt to trust Holy Spirit I went ahead and did it. As I was declaring the truth afterwards I found myself laughing and saying to the enemy that I laughed at his attempt to derail me with his lie. I have never done this before and wondered why now? Then Holy Spirit reminded me that I have been declaring certain truths over myself daily for the last week, one of which was that I laugh at the lies of the enemy! Wow! After this I knew that I was in the right place for the right time but Papa was not finished with me yet! But more of that in a moment.
For those who want to know a little about what I'm getting up to, here's a quick summary. My roommates and I have spent time getting to know one another more and exploring the beautiful scenery that is all around us. We have been to Shasta Dam (the water in the reservoir is really low, please pray for rain), Mount Shasta (awesome, even without much snow), Burney Falls (truly spectacular) and we hiked Flannagan's Trail (sadly, I think, we did not see a mountain lion!). We have also had a couple of nights when new friends came round to visit and enjoy our veranda view. Still blown away by how awesome that view is! Then, on Friday we registered for school followed in the evening by a social for all BSSM over 40s. Exciting!
Back to Papa and his plans for me! Last night I went to our allocated weekend service, 6pm at Twin View and it was amazing. Over the last few days I have been talking to God about living for an audience of one (Him) all the time and during the worship at Twin View this continued. At some point someone prayed for me (I have no idea who or what they prayed) and God met with me powerfully as my Healer. He gave me heart surgery! That is, he grafted my heart to that of Jesus and then put them both in me. Wow! I am truly united with Jesus because our hearts beat together as one! My identity is eternally secure!
That, in itself would be enough to say it was an amazing night but God still was not finished with me yet! As it was the Sunday night before school started and the service is mostly students there was lots of ministry time. One of the calls was for people who had experienced some loss before coming to school. Wow! Instantly I knew God wanted me to go for prayer and the tears started coming. To begin with I had no idea why I was crying, was it just part of the grief, was I missing my hubby? Then it hit me as Holy Spirit brought revelation, I felt guilty for being in Redding because my husband was dead. I felt guilty because I was enjoying being here and was expectant and excited for school. I felt guilty because I should not be here and would not be here if he was alive. This was not what I had expected!
Thankfully, it was no surprise to Papa and he had set me up to deal with it. When I had arrived at church I had spoken to my Revival Group Pastor (my spiritual oversight here) to let her know that the day we go on retreat (later this month) would be my first birthday without my hubby and I did not know how I would be. As a result of this conversation she knew a little of my situation and came to pray with me. She stood with me as I refuted the lies that I am guilty and declared the truth that there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus and that I am here because God purposed for me to be here. Yes, my life would have looked very different and been very happy if my hubby were still here but he is not and it is okay for me to enjoy my life here and be expectant for what God wants to do. How amazing is that!
This journey that I have been on, that I am on, is a journey of discovering more of who God is. A journey of discovering more of who I am because of all that God is. A journey of discovering how who God is and who I am come together so that I can fulfil the purpose and destiny he created me for. It is not always easy but I am never on my own, I am never left to flounder because Holy Spirit is with me and as I learn to trust Him more He leads me into more revelation, more freedom and greater relationship and encounter. I do not fully know what this year holds for me but I am eager to find out and hold to the words He has spoken to me that it is bigger than I think. Wow! I have big vision but His is bigger!
I hope this has encouraged you on your journey. Today is my first day in school and as I head off I am full of joy and expectation to discover all he has for me today, just today. I pray as you read this you are full of joy and expectation for what he has for you to discover today too. Be blessed, I am!
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