Wednesday 11 March 2015

Peace and hope in the heartache.

So, this post is about my experiences this week and how Papa is always good, always faithful and how I am learning more and more to trust him in every circumstance. I pray you are encouraged as you read.

Last Monday morning I woke up to a message from someone very dear to me saying that they would never speak to me again. This is one of the most important people in my life and I was devastated. There had been no great argument or falling out, just very different views held about the subject of forgiveness. I went straight to God on my knees with a big box of tissues!

I know God is good all the time and I know that he works all things together for good for those who love him, my life is testimony to this. So, as I came before the Lord, I started by declaring who he was, my trust in him and that I knew he would turn this situation to good too, though I could not see how. Then I poured out my heart and my emotion and the fact that this was so hard and I did not understand it.

As I knelt before God I began to be reminded of promises that he had given me and also began to see the truths in me the enemy was trying to attack, the things I had been stepping out in that he would love for me to stop, the new level of authority I was walking in. I knew that I needed to grieve the loss of the relationship but I also knew I could stand on the truths and the promises that God had given to me. I had joy, not joy that laughs out loud but joy that says that even through the grief, even through the tears, what I stand on is greater, it is the promises of God! Wow!

That day at school was full of tears, they fell constantly as I grieved the loss of this relationship. It was also full of support and encouragement from Papa through the people around me. Some knew what had happened, most did not, but all of them loved me well. Throughout the day I was reminded afresh of how amazing the people are he has placed around me, both here and at home. Family, both natural and spiritual is so important when we face tough times, they are often the physical manifestation of Papa for us, as well as those he uses to speak his truth to us and I found both of these to be true again this week.

As I went to bed that night I was fully expecting the tears to carry on for a day or two but when I awoke on Tuesday morning Papa had a different plan. Firstly, I awoke with Habbakuk 3:17-19 in my mind which says we will rejoice in the Lord even though there is no provision. It also says that he makes our feet like hinds feet and puts us on the heights. I felt Papa ask me what it meant to be on the heights, that is in high places. I did not know and he said that to be in the high places means to see from his perspective and not be swayed by earthly circumstances. It is to be like David and look at Goliath and say, 'you cannot win because the battle and the victory are God's.' I felt Papa say that this was what I had done the day before, though I had grieved (a completely natural process at a loss) I had declared that God was good and that his promises were true that he had made regarding the relationship. I felt his pleasure in me. Wow! What a start to the day.

My first class that day was prophetic intercession and city transformation, where we learn about an aspect of intercession, seek God for his plan for the day and then go on a prophetic prayer walk. It is so good! This day as we began to soak and listen to what God wanted to do all I got was restoration and reconciliation. I thought this was me and not God because of my circumstances so I was not going to share. However, the first person who shared talked about Belfast and the need for the religious spirit there to be gone and I knew my words linked with that and so I shared. It was clear by the time we had all shared that relationship, reconciliation and restoration were on God's heart that day for our intercession.

We had a great time making declarations over Belfast, Ireland and Redding about restored families, restored relationships and community restoration. It was amazing. When we had finished I felt Papa say that all the declarations we had made were for my situation too and that I should share that. I did and as I shared I received the most amazing gift of peace. It truly did transcend understanding and I was able to say that I believe my broken relationship will be restored this year, but even if I am wrong I will trust my Papa and rejoice in his provision for me. Wow! What a wonderful gift.

The gift did not end there either, all week in school Papa brought me confirmation after confirmation that I was standing in his will and he was pleased with me. Almost every speaker we had shared something that was so pertinent to my current experience. It was amazing, I felt so loved, so cherished, so cared for by Papa, that he would set the whole week up just to encourage his daughter, just to let me know that I was going in the right direction and he is faithful and true. Papa even used Bill's Sunday preach at Bethel to bring more confirmation and encouragement. So awesome! I ended the week knowing I can trust Papa to resolve this issue for me and I have all the resources I need to walk in freedom, to refute all the lies of the enemy and know the truth. I am truly blessed.

So, a week later as I sat in the sun writing this post, I know it will all work out. I know that as I keep my eyes fixed on Papa he will give me the grace to walk this out with peace and joy. I know that though there will be moments of sadness, nothing can steal the hope I have because my Papa is faithful, he can be nothing else. I know too that his timing is perfect no matter how long it may take. Therefore, my declaration is remains that my God is good all the time, he is faithful and he works all things to good for me because I love him and as a result of this, I will trust him however my earthly circumstances look!

I hope you have been encouraged to know that you can trust God in every circumstance and to learn to look to him and not what you see with your eyes. He is always faithful, always good and he loves you passionately, fiercely, completely!

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