Wow! I am blown away by the goodness of God and undone by his kindness! I love that he knows what we need and the perfect time to bring it even when we have no clue that we need it. Over recent weeks we have had to do some homework on leadership development and Papa has truly rocked me to the core through the process. I hope you are encouraged as you read on to realise God can uncover the lies we are believing using anything!
For our first leadership development report, amongst other things, we had to do a DISC test. This is a personality test and they have us websites where we could do it for free or we could pay for it. I did the free text and discovered I am very high I (influence) and high D and S (dominance and steadiness) and very little C (compliance). When I had done the first test I found two or three other sites where I could do the test for free too and did them all. They all have me the same results. After all of this I decided I wanted to pay to do the official test and again I got the same results, just with a little more information!
Once all of the tests are done Good asked me if I knew why I had done all the tests? Why I had not been happy doing just one test? I think that I knew the answer but I didn't want to admit it but I also knew he would tell me anyway! He told me that I kept don't more tests because I was expecting to get different answers because I still believed that I was different depending on who I was with and that I behaved differently with everyone.
He then pointed out that my internal and external results (that is the real me and the me I show the world) were almost identical and this meant that who I am and who I show the world is the same person. He then reminded me of the first prophetic word I was ever given 19 years ago. The word was that it was time for the makes to come off, there was lots of them and it would take a long time but they would all come off. They are all gone he said to me, that is why your results are almost identical because you are so you say you are. Wow!
This was amazing revelation and I so wanted it to be true! However, I was not convinced and as I was writing about who I was and what I was passionate about for my report I had this nagging doubt that I was just writing what I wanted people to believe about me. I was a fake! Once I had written the report I had to get feedback from a couple of people before writing a final paragraph, I asked Lizzie and Amy, my housemates, as they know me best here in Redding.
The morning after I had given them my report Lizzie told me that as she read my report she thought I really know this woman, this is Michelle honestly and openly. This is authentic. Amy added that she agreed with what Lizzie said and that what I shared was accurate and truly who I am and who I strive to be. She agreed with my DISC test in who I am. She said she really felt my heart when she read what I am passionate about and that from what she sees in my daily life she agrees!
Wow! I cried! I was blown away! I had to go to Papa and ask what this meant and he showed me that I had still been believing that I was manipulative as I was many years ago and that I believed that I was a fraud it my personality. Well, we soon nailed that lie to the cross and declared the truth, I am authentic! It may have taken 47 years for me to be able to see what was plain to others but now I not only see it but I know it to be true! Hallelujah!
As I close this post I just want to encourage you, wherever you are at and whatever season you are in to trust God and to trust the process he has you in. He truly knows what he is doing and only has your best interests at heart, he is working to make you the best you you can be and I believe with all my heart, you will get there.
Here's the last paragraph I added to finish my report and remember it took me 47 years to get here!
I am genuine! I am authentic! I am real! This report has been a journey that has shown me that I am truly who Papa says I am and who I have hoped I really am and shown me that there were lies that said otherwise that I was believing. Blown away by his kindness to me in showing me that I am not a fraud in what I offer to the world, another lie that I have nailed to the cross and broken agreement with! So who am I? I am loving, I am generous, I am compassionate, I am a laid down lover of God, I am his daughter, I am a trophy of grace, I am enthusiastic and passionate, I am an encourager, I am a mum, I am me! Thank you Papa!
I bless you to know the truth of who you are in his eyes and your own. You are amazing! You are his child! You are loved! Thank you for reading.
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