Firstly and nothing to do with my blog title I just want to say, woohoo and aaargh!!! After my post last week, a friend and I are now going to Alton Towers in the next few weeks so that I can go on Oblivion. Not so sure now that I really, really, really want to go on it now but it just has to be done!
So to this week's subject, this is a bit of a hard one again but seeing as Papa has once again brought release and freedom I want to give glory to him with my testimony.
One of my gifts is that I am an encourager, I love to get words from Holy Spirit to build up those around me, especially women. I also love when Papa uses me to challenge people into stepping out and doing new things. The last couple of weeks have included both.
Firstly, I was given a word for a friend that I gave and it encouraged her into stepping out in faith to do something and the result was awesome. Wow! I love being on Papa's team.
Next is something that has not happened for about 9 months. Before my husband died I used to send a lot of encouraging texts to the people I knew, some specific words for people and some just wonderful truths that edify and build up. I had not done this since my husband died but felt Holy Spirit leading me to send a few texts last week. All the texts were specific for particular people and I was really encouraged myself as people texted me to say how they were encouraged. Wonderful!
As a result of the texts I ended up meeting with two ladies individually and seeing God work in both their lives. Unexpected but awesome. Again, I so love being on Papa's team and seeing him at work.
I then got the words 'push off' that I really felt were for another friend but it sounds kind of rude so it took me a while to text it. I should know by now just to go for it, as the person texted back saying it was absolutely right. Wow!
Now you would think after a week like that I would be super encouraged and be walking in the full knowledge of my identity in Jesus. Me too, but on Saturday night I had a big wobble. I was at Women of Presence, an awesome women's event run by my church. We had amazing worship and Holy Spirit came and presenced himself with us and this was followed by an awesome preach. Holy Spirit gave me a word to give to the woman who had spoken and then I went to the back and got on my knees. As soon as I did I started crying and as I started crying I was just overwhelmed with a sense of being a fraud and not belonging in that room full of wonderful ladies and how dare I think I heard from God for others. This was not what I was expecting!
At that point I had two choices, believe or refute the lie. Thankfully I recognised it as a lie and was able to deal with it there and then. The minute I had done this I got a word for one of the leaders of our church that was linked to something I had seen and felt earlier. Wow! This was a real test as to whether I had dealt with the lie or not, would I give the word or just go home. I did start to gather the ladies I was taking home to go but then said I would be back in a moment and went and gave the word. Know that step of obedience was a key to my freedom in this!
The next morning at church during the worship I knew Papa wanted me face down on the floor. That was fine, however I felt him say that I had to do it in the centre of church where everyone can see me. Aargh! I was obedient, though I did not like it because I felt on show, and spent the rest of the meeting like that. It was not that I could not get up, I just knew Papa was saying I should stay there. Well, I did know Papa wanted me there and then I started doubting. Am I lying here to make myself look good? Am I trying to convince myself that I really am not a fraud? Then, at the end of the preach they spoke about lives laid down and as clear as day Papa said, 'do you think it's a coincidence you are on your face now?'. I would like to say at this point I leapt up rejoicing and praising God but that would be a lie. What I did was get to my knees and say to Papa that if I had heard him right I wanted someone to come to me with a word. Wow! Papa is so loving and faithful as one of the beautiful ladies at church came and told me she had been praying for me that morning and had been told to tell me I was loved with an everlasting love. Thankfully, Then I got up and rejoiced and praised God. He truly is awesome, even when we test him to the nth degree!
So the truth is I am significant, the Creator of heaven and earth loves me with an everlasting love and calls me his priceless daughter. I am not a fraud, that is a lie. Wow!
Lastly, before it finish this post I just want to bring you up to date on the house sale and what I am believing God for. I believed that we would complete next week and then at the beginning of this week a spanner was put in the works. The spanner means that there are two possibilities, the first is we still complete next week and the second is we may be able to complete in 4 or 5 weeks. I am believing that because my God is faithful we will complete next week (the other option brings far too much complication really!), however I have had no further news for 2 days. This seems a little scary but Papa is always teaching us and training us, preparing us in the now for what lies ahead. Yesterday he showed me in a variety of ways that he wanted me to believe and he reminded me that he is the God of the 11th hour and likes to step in at the last possible moment because this builds faith. So my declaration of faith today is that before close of business tomorrow I will know we will complete next Friday. Thankfully because my Papa is so faithful I do not stand in this alone but have many awesome women of God standing with me. Wow! Blessed! Excited! Will let you know how Papa works in this to his glory.
I hope you have been encouraged as you have read this. We all struggle at times but Papa is so faithful to meet us where we are at, dust down our hurts and encourage us to move forward again. He just asks that we trust him and believe the truth he says about us. We are priceless, you are priceless because he paid the highest price to rescue you, his Son.
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