I am exceedingly brave and courageous!

In the 10 months since my husband died God has been working tirelessly in me and for me to bring about his purposes. That is, to see me walk into the destiny he has ordained for me, healed and whole. Jesus has already done it all, I am just learning to walk in more and more of it, day by day. Wow! I am the daughter of the King, cherished and loved and my future is assured. There may be sadness as well as laughter but I will always have joy available to me, even in the darkest days. Wow! This truly has been my testimony over the last 10 months since my husband died.

Since January, when God first spoke to me about going to Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry (BSSM) in Redding, he has been so faithful in preparing the way for me. In fact, his provision has been abundant and definitely more than enough. This provision has included (although I have only just recognised this) how I have viewed what I am doing by going to BSSM, because until last week it was no big thing. It was nothing major, nothing brave, I was just being obedient and that was that. This was definitely God's blessing while I was dealing with all the other things that needed doing (like selling a house!). Wow! However, now the other stuff is all done God has changed that perspective and given me a little reality check!

Things started to change last week as I began to say my last goodbyes to some very dear people. As I began to consider that I would not see these people until next summer it slowly began to dawn on me that being away for 10 months was quite a big thing! This set me down the path to think about what was big about it and as I did I felt Holy Spirit reminded me that in Papa's eyes I am exceedingly brave and courageous. This immediately got the response from me that I am not and Holy Spirit and I then spent some time where he corrected my thinking. He is good at that and the upshot is I am exceedingly brave and courageous!

The reason I am brave and courageous is I am moving to live in America for 10 months (likely to go back for a second 10 months too) and that is a giant step for me! The list Holy Spirit showed me surprised me, I knew it all but had not really considered it. Here it is:

I have sold my house leaving me homeless in the UK. I am not roofless though, I have many generous and wonderful offers of places to stay on my return but I no longer have a home here.

I am leaving behind my precious family, including my son and my amazing grandson. This one is very big as we have only been rebuilding relationship for 10 months.

I am leaving behind my wonderful church home. I will be back but having missed them all dearly after just missing 2 weeks, 10 months is going to be hard. Bethel Church will be wonderful I know but they are not my immediate family, they're like the cousins you see sometimes!

I am leaving behind many wonderful friends who I will miss dearly, including all my Godchildren and their families. I realised too that with all the children, including my grandson, 10 months is a mighty long time and they will change so much in that time. Skype will help but it us not the same as being there. I will so miss all the hugs and running round being silly with them all.

I am going to a country and a culture that is strange to me and was not top of my list to visit. I am leaving the security of knowing how things work and what is acceptable in most situations. I am going to be out of my depth and unsure, something I do not like much.

I am going to spend a proportion of my house sale money on living in America for 2 years, that is spending and not earning.

All in all, this move is a big thing and I truly can agree with Holy Spirit on it now, I am exceedingly brave and courageous. However, I would also add that I am brave and courageous because I am loved by the Creator of the universe, because I know that he has a plan for my future to prosper me and give me hope, because I know that he is always faithful in everything he does and will not let me fall, because I know with him I am more than a conqueror and can do all the things he calls me too.

Yes, going to America is a big thing but my Papa is bigger still so I will recognise the enormity of what I am doing and run at this challenge as fast as I can with excitement, expectation, joy and thanksgiving because I am never alone in it, Almighty God, Creator of all things is with me every step of the way! Halelujah!

Whatever you face today just remember that God is so much bigger and loves you unconditionally, lean on him and let him guide you. It may not always be easy but it will always be amazing and your faith, hope and joy will abound. Be blessed.