Who does Jesus want to be to you today?

On Friday I sat in a coffee shop and began to write about who Jesus is, that is, a list of the things that I know to be true.  It went a little like this:

Jesus is the Almighty One – Rev 1:8

Jesus is the Alpha and the Omega – Rev 22:13

Jesus is our Advocate – 1 John 2:1

Jesus has all authority – Matt 28:18

Jesus is the Bread of Life – John 6:35

Jesus is the Beloved Son of God – Matt 3:17

Jesus is the Bridegroom – Matt 9:15

Jesus is the Chief Cornerstone – Psalm 118:22

Jesus is our Deliverer – 1 Thess 1:10

It continued until I had over 50 things I know to be true about Jesus. 

Now, as I wrote this list I realised that there are a lot of things that I know from an intellectual perspective but have not experienced yet in my life or just don’t have much revelation on yet.  It was at this moment that I felt God ask me to ask Jesus which of these he wants to give me greater revelation on right now. 

I would love to say that this led to an amazing encounter with Jesus as he took me deeper, wider and higher into an aspect of who he is.  However, the truth is I closed down my Macbook and waited for the friend I was having coffee with and pretty much forgot my conversation with God.

Fast forward to this morning (it is Sunday) and we have Dawna Da Silva speaking at church.  She starts to talk about the names of God and instantly God reminds me of our conversation on Friday.  Are you listening he says?  Yes!  I am most definitely listening as he has been teaching me about the importance of taking note when he speaks the same (or similar) things more than once.  I know there is something of significance here for me and I do not want to miss it.

Dawna talks about God as Jehovah Tsidkenu (the Lord my Righteousness), Jehovah Jireh (the Lord will Provide), Jehovah Sabaoth (the Lord of Hosts), Jehovah Shalom (the Lord our Peace) and El Roi (the God who sees me) and how we can use these names as mighty weapons when we are facing difficulties in life. 

I knew that God was highlighting himself as Jehovah Jireh to me as I have been concerned over my finances recently and that he also was reminding me that he is Jehovah Rapha (the Lord who Heals) too.

As I focus on Jehovah Jireh and how great he is my concerns over my finances can only diminish and shrink in size, they are as nothing beside my God.  It does not mean that my circumstances change but that I remind myself of the one who is able to change them. This allows me to let go of concern and take hold of faith.  Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we cannot see.  He is good, he is faithful and true and he has promised that he will work all things together for my good.  I know however that this, though important for me, is not what God has for me today, there is something of greater importance yet.

As I focused on Jehovah Rapha he again reminded me of the list I wrote on Friday and that on that list was:

Jesus is the Healer – Matt 14:14

This is it!  This is who Jesus wants to be to me right now.  This is what God wants to bring me greater revelation on.  This is the one Jesus wants to take me deeper into.  There is tension in my heart as I consider this truth because I know it was all done 2000 years ago, by his stripes we are healed, but I do not see that in my body now.  I do not see this in the bodies of others I know but I know it is true.  Jesus is perfect theology and he healed all who came to him.  This is not my truth and yet it is not yet my truth.

I am thankful that God is more interested in the journey we are on than the destination we are heading towards because it is in the journey that we get the opportunity to press in, to lean in, to discover what he has hidden for us to find.  It is in the journey that I get to know him better and learn who he is in me and for me.  This is the adventure I am saying yes to as I say I want to know who Jesus is as Healer.  I want to know who Jesus is as my Healer.  I want to know who Jesus is as the Healer to others.  I want to step into and grow in the revelation he has hidden for me in this and I know that, at least in part, it is coming to me through communion (but more on communion another time).  I am going to take time over the next few weeks to pursue Jesus for more about him being my Healer, to discover what he wants to reveal to me, to go deeper, wider and higher into this aspect of who he is.

How about you?  Who does Jesus want to be to you today?  Will you give him room to take you deeper into who he is in your need or in your success?  Thankfully, wherever we are there is always more and so we can trust him to take us on the journey.  He’s just waiting for our invitation to him, will you ask him the question today?

Happy heart!  Blessed indeed!

A change in perspective

Here goes for blog number 3 and me becoming more disciplined in my writing. 

It’s quite hard, whenever I am not sat at the computer to write I think of lots of things that I would like to put down on paper and share but then when I do sit down to write it is a different story.  However, there is often one thing that sticks out and seems to want to be written and usually it is the thing I would least like to write about.  It feels like that with this post and for the first time I am realising why, it’s when I am still in process because it feels like I’m putting my heart out there on a plate!  Well here goes with my heart…….

So, God is always good and does not cause or allow my sickness, it is the result of living in a fallen world and his will is always to heal.  This is an easy truth for me to stand on, especially when I am fit and healthy.  It becomes harder when I have to hold that truth in tension with a diagnosis that says I am not healthy and I am not seeing his healing now! 

I do believe that a medical healing is not a second class healing as Paul Manwaring says.  However, I am pondering whether it is full healing if there are parts of me missing (if God does not supernaturally heal me I will be having a full hysterectomy).  In heaven, I will be whole and that is my portion now, that is what Jesus did when he was whipped, he paid in full for all my sickness and disease.  I don’t understand all of this but I do trust that God is good, it is his will to heal me and that whether that is through a supernatural intervention or through surgery he will work all things for good in this process.  It is hard though!

There is nothing wrong with being in this place of tension and not understanding.  In fact, when I give up my right to understand it is much easier to receive peace and I am walking in peace, at least most of the time.  I have had such wonderful times with God showing me how to view my circumstances from his perspective, that is, remembering that I am sat in heavenly places and therefore, I look down at them.  Any Goliath looks rather pathetic in size when you are looking down at it from the highest of heights! 

If only I could say that I have this perspective and it never gets shaken but that would not be truth.  The truth is I am trusting in this new perspective and the good that I already see that God is going to work out of this (I only see a small part but it is still very good!) but I still have moments of seeing my Goliath through my own eyes and without God’s perspective.  That’s when anxiety and fear have the opportunity to step in and I am having to learn to capture my thoughts quickly to Jesus in a whole new way.

This morning someone told me that it took them a year to fully recover from a hysterectomy and my immediate reaction was to feel panic.  I did not like the thought of 8-12 weeks recovery (though God has changed my perspective by talking to me about what a great chance that will be to write) but a year, my first thought was I would go crazy!  Thankfully, Holy Spirit is my Guide and gives me wise counsel and I chose not to receive that truth as mine and as soon as I did, my peace returned.  So thankful that I get to partner on this journey with him.

The hardest moments, to be honest, are when I am on my own and tired, especially if I am at home.  Then I think about the fact that I will not be able to recover in my own home, at least to begin with.  Once I allow the thoughts to start then others join them and I think about not being able to drive, to do my laundry, to make myself a cup of coffee and it can all become a little overwhelming.  I am learning that I have a choice though, I can either choose to dwell on the thoughts or to give them to Jesus and declare the truth that he will turn all these circumstances to my good, even if I cannot see how.  I am grateful that I seem to be learning this quickly and so the times of feeling overwhelmed are few and over within a few moments. 

As I learn to partner with Holy Spirit to walk out this journey well I have already found some good in my journey.  For many years I have wanted to get fitter and take better care of myself but have always struggled with motivation.  I do well for a couple of weeks and then it all falls away and it takes another few months to get the motivation back.  Well, this journey has given me fresh motivation because I want to partner with God and be as fit as I can be should I need to spend time on an operating table.  Such a blessing!  To this end I have a friend who is going to be my personal trainer until my operation.  Amazing, someone whose very job it is to keep me motivated, what a gift!  

Already I get a little peak of the good that will come out of this journey.  Whether I have to have an operation or not, I will be fitter and healthier and caring for my body better.  If I want to run for God until I am a hundred then I need to care for the machinery he has given me to do it and this journey has given me an added boost to my motivation to make that happen.  I believe I am actually getting excited for this journey.  How amazing is that!

Happy heart!  Blessed indeed!

My favourite hour of the week....

So, I’m still working through some emotions but as I do, I’m trying to be faithful with writing and life continues through all circumstances!  I want to tell you about my favourite hour of the week simply because I can.  Those of you who know me well won’t be surprised that it’s in the early morning but you may be surprised by what it is all. 

Every Friday morning between 8 and 9am we give out free coffee on the front steps of church.  I love it!  We’ve been doing it for a little over 3 months now and it is such fun. 

I love watching as people get over their suspicions week by week and then finally come and accept a coffee. 

I love watching as people begin to relax and tell us little aspects of their days and their lives.

I love watching as people come back week after week for coffee and a quick chat. 

I love watching as the children (now back at school) bring their parents over so that they can have a drink. 

I love that we are building community with those who pass our building on a daily basis and that they tell us that they now look forward to a Friday morning. 

I love that we notice when one of our ‘regulars’ does not come.

How good is that!  I think it is amazing and it really does bring me the greatest of pleasure when I see them smile, not only because they get a free coffee but because we have remembered their name or a little something about them.  To me, this is community, getting out there and being Jesus, this is what our lives should be all about, loving people well with no hidden agenda.  We just want to see them smile and we do, it’s wonderful.

We have talked about Jesus and prayed but primarily we just smile, have fun and even dance a little (or at least I do) and bless people with a cup of tea or coffee.  It’s simple but it’s effective and I am excited to see where it leads, especially when we are still there in the cold and the rain!  It may sound strange but it really is my favourite hour of the week and I look forward to it expectantly.  I love Jesus so I love people and I love community!

Happy heart!  Blessed indeed!