A journey of preparation.....

A couple of weeks ago I signed up for Christian Connection, an online dating site.  This came as a complete shock to me but not to Papa and it was the end of one journey, and as I am discovering, it is just the start of another one! 

So, just over 4 years ago, I was suddenly widowed when my husband of 15 years died.  As I walked out my grief journey with Papa I was determined that I would stay single for the rest of my life.  I had done relationships but now it was time for me and Jesus with no distractions.

After I had been in Redding for a little while Papa began talking to me about relationships.  At first, he asked me did I want to die alone.  I love how he talks straight to me, it’s how I talk too!  This got me thinking and I realised that it would be nice not to grow old alone but that I would like some time on my own first.  So, I told Papa that I would like a husband but that I would to like 20 years first!  This seemed to satisfy Papa, or at least it did for a while.

A little while later I felt God tell me to reread ‘Captivating’ by John and Stasi Eldridge.  I loved this the first time I read it as God showed me how I was created to be wooed and pursued by him, he showed me that I was captivating to him.  So, I was expecting more of the same.  However, that isn’t what I got this time.  This time God showed me how I was meant to be wooed and pursued by a man.  Wow!  What a surprise. 

Next God told me to read ‘Wild at Heart’ by John Eldridge.  Through this he showed me what men were created for, to be protectors and warriors and spoke to me about having a man who would protect and treasure my heart.  Wow! 

It was after this that God asked me if I really wanted to wait 20 years or would I like to have someone I could do ministry with.  This blew me away as I had not thought about that. 

This was when I was released to dream about the possibilities for my future but to be honest, my dreaming was very selfish.  I wanted someone who would live where I wanted to live and would want to support me in the visions that God has given me.  It was my way or no way!

The next major change for me was about a year ago.  I was back in the UK and driving home from work and all of a sudden, I was weeping.  It was a funny experience.  I hadn’t been thinking about anything I was just worshipping.  Then suddenly I was telling God that I wanted a man that I would lay my life down for.  Wow!  It was amazing, God had changed my heart completely and I didn’t even realise it.

A few months later, I went on line and signed on to a dating website.  Well, I signed up for a free trial.  However, the moment I saw my profile go live I panicked and deleted my account.  It was scary, I felt so vulnerable and exposed.  That was the end of my thinking about online dating, it was definitely never going to be on my agenda again, or at least so I thought!

That was it until just before Christmas then it seemed like every conversation I had ended up with Christian Connections being spoken about.  Of course, it was not every conversation but there was a lot, I even had a conversation about it on Christmas day.  Then in the beginning of January I had two friends stay with me at separate times and again Christian Connection was one of the topics of conversation.  One of my friends even told me about someone we both knew who met their husband on the site.

All the conversations had me thinking that Papa was talking to me about this.  In fact, I knew he was talking to me.  The thing that I bothered me was whether there were men on there who were truly passionate about Jesus.  However, knowing a lady who was passionate about Jesus who found a man who was as passionate as she was, alleviated that, especially when I got to meet him and saw his passion for myself.

So, I chose to be obedient to what I felt God was leading me to.  It was a little scary but I decided that I was going to do it and I was going to write a profile that left nothing in doubt about Jesus being first in my life.   So, I did! 

I am now a fully signed up member of Christian Connection and I am so thankful for what God has done in my life to get me ready for this.  I am also thankful that the journey is only just beginning as he teaches me walk this path well but more on that another time!  I’m excited to see what happens.

So, seeing as it is out there anyway, here’s my profile:

I am a daughter, loved and cherished by my Papa, the God of Creation because of the sacrifice of my big Brother, Jesus and I have Holy Spirit living within me. I am passionate about Jesus and life. I love people well and enjoy drawing the best out of them. I love walking, reading, friendships and hosting people in my home. Old houses, gardens and the sea make my soul happy. My heart is to build community and see people know who they were created to be. I have a 30 year old son and 2 grandsons. I am blessed!

I have lived all over the UK and spent 2 years in Redding, California at BSSM but Leicester is currently home. I love that life is full of opportunity and, though my heart is to see Leicester come to know Jesus, I also know that home is where my heart is and that is wherever Jesus takes me!

Jesus is everything! I am his trophy of grace! My heart is to seek first him and his kingdom and to see heaven come to earth as he commissioned us. I believe that revival will come and be sustained when we truly believe what Jesus said, that we would do greater things than he did. I have seen blind eyes open and deaf ears hear and believe I will see the dead rise and I will see it here in the UK. I love my family (church) because they are on this path too and together we believe we will see our communities, our city, our nation and the world transformed by and for Jesus.

I love the adventurous. I want to jump out of a plane again, want to try hang gliding, want to do zip lining and love fast and furious roller coasters. My favourite times are walking in nature, especially forests, hills and the sea. I love good conversations that connect heart to heart and I love to see people step into the fullness of who they are. 
My life goal is to see the end of human slavery, every person treated with the respect due to them because they are made in the image of God and precious in his sight.

I am passionate and love well. I love Jesus above all else and want a man to love who does the same. I am happy to come second to Jesus! I am excited and nervous to be on this adventure but sometimes you just have to take a risk.....

Be encouraged to take a risk!

Happy heart!  Blessed indeed!